Don't quit therapy. Give your therapist feedback instead, and don't be afraid to ask for what you want.
Too often, people are reluctant to give feedback to their psychotherapist. Instead, they stay silent and suffer through therapy sessions. Or worse, they drop out without ever speaking up.
If you’re in therapy, it’s important to provide feedback, and a good therapist will appreciate it. In fact,
studies show that feedback improves the overall quality of therapy.
If you have ever dropped out of therapy, or feel liking quitting therapy now, you’re not alone. The following are six common reasons why people quit therapy too soon.
Reason #1. The Money
Therapy isn’t cheap, and talking about money is hard. A lot
of clients don’t bring up this sensitive topic.
If you’re having trouble affording
your therapist, bring it up. You’d be surprised, your therapist might reduce
the fee.
Or you might spark a fruitful conversation about budgeting your money, or using your insurance to help pay for therapy.
Reason #2. Unclear Goals or No Goals
Depending on the
therapist’s style, they may or may not establish or review your therapeutic goals.
However,
if you want goals, you can ask for them! Without goals, it’s hard to know if you're making progress or when
you’re finished with therapy.
Reason #3. The Therapist Just Goes Through the Motions
Therapists are people too, and can have off days.
But if
your therapist is lacking presence, speak up. Say something straightforward
like, “I feel like we’re not connecting.”
A good therapist will hear you loud
and clear. If they get defensive or make up an excuse, that might be your cue
to find another therapist.
Reason #4. The Therapist Gives Little or No Guidance
If you’re tired of hearing “how does that make
you feel?” you might want to ask for some direction.
If the therapist is worth
their salt, they’ll hear you. And, if they’re wise, they won’t directly give
you advice. Instead, they’ll ask the right questions to guide you toward the appropriate solutions.
Reason #5. The Therapist is Too Directive
While guidance is good, too much can rob you of
your self-determination, and create a dependent relationship.
If your therapist
is doing too much problem solving for you, let them know. The value of
“sitting” with your own discomfort can be a huge opportunity for insight and
growth.
Reason #6. The Therapist Avoids Talk of Termination
Maybe you’ve been in therapy for a while and you’re feeling better. You’re wondering why your therapist hasn’t brought
up ending treatment.
Surely they have a plan, right? Don’t assume so.
You can literally say, “I feel like I’m
ready to end therapy.” A competent therapist won’t feel offended and will
welcome discussing
termination.
In Summary
Too many people drop out of therapy too soon. Even after investing their time and money. Why? Because it's hard to give feedback!
The fear of offending a therapist can stop even the most assertive client. But as a bad therapist once said, “Get over it!”
Seriously though, it’s okay to ask for what you want in therapy. Give your therapist feedback. You'll feel better. And that's the whole point of therapy, right?
If your therapist does not adjust to your feedback, that's probably a signal for you to find someone else. Speak up sooner rather than later to avoid wasting your time and money.
Learn more about setting yourself up for a successful counseling journey. Read my post,
5 Ways to Make the Most of Counseling.
Want to know some of the essential elements of therapy? Check out my post
6 Essential Elements of Effective Psychotherapy