Is Complaining an Addiction?

There's so much to complain about: politics, your job, the weather, you name it.

Complaining feels good. It gives you a sense of relief. And when you complain with your friends or coworkers, everyone feels better. It becomes a “complain-a-thon” where everybody vents.

The problem with complaining though is that quite often nothing gets solved. You vent, feel better, but the problem is still there!

A normal amount of complaining is okay because it articulates a problem, gets it out of your head, and clarifies things.

But too much complaining is an indulgence and an addiction.

It obscures solutions, creates negativity, and is a misuse of your energy. It becomes a vicious cycle: a problems arises, you complain, you feel better, the problem persists.

Why not generate energy in the right direction, toward solutions. Here's my challenge to you: take an entire day and not complain. Not once.

I call it abstain from complain. When you feel the temptation to complain, you just don't do it. Let me warn you though, it feels incredibly uncomfortable! But that's what happens when you're addicted to something. The withdrawal is painful.

As you stick to the challenge, notice how you feel when you’re around other people who complain. Watch the intensity, the negativity, the blaming. It’ll be so tempting to chime in. Don’t do it.

Beyond the Addiction of Complaining

After a day of not complaining, you may feel strange. That’s okay, it's called withdrawal.

Maybe you caved and indulged in some complaining. That’s okay. The point is to simply notice the phenomenon of complaining and how you relate to it.

Remember, a little bit of complaining is okay because it clarifies things.

But once you clarify, take some action towards solving the thing you’re complaining about. Train your brain to start focusing on solutions instead of getting caught up in the cycle of complaining.

But what if you can’t see a solution to your complaints? That’s okay! Try micro solutions, the baby steps of problem-solving.

Frustrated with your job? Don't ruminate or complain. Do a micro solution instead. For example, you could write down one thing you want to change about your job, then email it to yourself. Let it sit, then look at it later. You'll get perspective on the problem and solutions may appear that you couldn't see before.

The point here is not to indulge in complaining but instead do something constructive, however small.

Try the abstain-from-complain challenge with your friends. When you involve your peers, you add accountability.

You could even try the challenge at work. Enlist a trusted coworker and compare notes. Could be fun...

Remember, action generates solutions; complaining keeps you stuck. Good luck!

Want to learn how to take action instead of stressing out? Read my post Action Cures Anxiety

Interested in therapy? Learn more about my anxiety therapy services