How to Find Opportunity in Adversity

The Power of A.F.G.O. increases your optimism and puts you back in charge.

“humor can short-circuit negative thinking and open your eyes to opportunities.”

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The Origin of A.F.G.O.

The year was 2007. I took an introductory psychology class at the College of Alameda taught by Professor Robert Brem.

Several months before that I had decided to pursue my master’s degree in Counseling at San Francisco State University and now I needed to complete the prerequisites to apply.

Sitting in class waiting for the professor to arrive, I was nervous. The stakes were high. I had quit my high paying tech job in San Francisco to go all in on a new career. Was it the right move? Would I get the ‘A’ that I needed in this class?

My worries are interrupted as Professor Brem enters the room. He walks in slowly, carrying a mountain of books, and without saying hello or looking at us, sets down his books and settles into his desk at the head of the class.

In monotone fashion, he slowly reads off the attendance list. As I look around the room, I notice many a furrowed brow. The students wondered what this guy was all about.

I didn't know it at the time, but Professor Brem’s feigned disinterest was actually a pedagogical ploy designed to pique our curiosity.

A Stealthy Professor

After taking attendance, Professor Brem began talking about positive psychology, one of the units in the syllabus. It was then that he uttered the famous acronym, AFGO. Without defining it, he asked, "Can you embrace even the bad events in life as AFGO?"

He prattled on about AFGO for a few minutes until finally a student raised his hand and asked, “Um, Dr. Brem, what’s AFGO?”

Peering over the top of his reading glasses, Professor Brem said matter-of-factly, "Another F**king Growth Opportunity."

I laughed out loud. Other students smiled, some looked confused, and still others were in shock. No matter the reaction, he had us hooked. He had our attention.

Seeing the proverbial green light, Professor Brem switched from feigned disinterest to passionate discourse and dove deep into AFGO and positive psychology, riveting us with his unconventional style.

To this day, when life throws me a curve ball, I feel distressed, sometimes even distraught, but after a while a little light goes off in the back of my mind and flashes the letters "AFGO." 

Dave Loses His Job

Perhaps the best way to illustrate the power of AFGO is to apply it to a fictional scenario.

Let's say Dave, a 35-year-old computer programmer is laid off from his high-paying tech job in San Francisco. He had high hopes for this new startup company, and over the last year had consistently worked 10 hour days.

Dave felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. He was confused and angry. Sure, he had signed the “at-will” contract, but didn't think his employer would let him go without any warning.

Driving home from the office, Dave's mind was reeling: “should I tap into my savings, move into a cheap apartment, hire an employment lawyer – what’s my next move?”

Fortunately for Dave, when he got home he stumbled upon the very blog post that you’re reading right now. Dave laughed out loud when he found out what AFGO stands for. He smiled, then pondered, "what if losing my job is just another f**king growth opportunity?"

Dave then wondered if there were other jobs out there, maybe even better than the one that he had. Doing a quick job search, he identified two companies with better pay than his old job. He quickly polished up his resume and applied to the jobs.

Dave embraces AFGO and takes positive action.

Humor Me

You see, the power of AFGO lies in its humor. Losing a job might send anyone into a spiral of negativity. But humor can short-circuit the spiral of negative thinking and open your eyes to opportunities.

Humans think in chains of connected thoughts. That is, if you're thinking negatively, you tend to continue in that vein, obscuring positive possibilities. That's why it's good to self-intervene and do something completely different when you feel overwhelmed or stuck.

Humor is one of the best self-interventions. Not only does it break the momentum of negative thinking, it also releases feel-good hormones and neurotransmitters, rapidly changing your brain and body chemistry and improving your mood.

What Could Go Right?

Let's look again at our previous example of Dave. Without AFGO he might have spent days, even weeks feeling down. After a while, he could have even started showing symptoms of clinical depression.

When adversity strikes, our brains automatically generate worst-case scenarios. While it's helpful to know what might go wrong, we tend to believe that these scenarios will actually happen.

We can get so caught up in negativity that we don't even realize what's happening. We can create a reality where we only see what could go wrong, instead of what could go right.

Negative thinking produces chemicals in our brain that perpetuate even more negative thinking! That's our old limbic system working to protect us from harm. The system hasn’t been upgraded for modern times, so it's up to you to short-circuit it when needed.

Laughter, a brisk walk, drinking some sparkling water, doing some push-ups, calling a friend… anything can disrupt the negativity circuit. But it's up to you.

Self Intervention

Once you intervene on yourself, you literally change your brain chemistry, which allows you to see things differently. Give yourself the gift of positive self-intervention, however grumpy you might feel.

The next time life kicks your ass, it's okay to feel bad for a while, that's normal. But if you can, and if you dare, muster up some strength and try to find one small opportunity in your adversity.

Just roll your eyes and reluctantly grumble to yourself, "another f**king growth opportunity." Then take some positive action!

Be sure to check out part one of this post, Good Stress? Yes! It's Called Eustress.

Want to know more about taking action? Read my post Action Cures Anxiety.