7 Ways to Be More Decisive

Learn to be more decisive by understanding the underlying causes of your indecision.

Introduction

No-Win Situations

Decisions are hardest when they result in two equally bad outcomes.

Consider a child who hates vegetables and his parents give him a choice between spinach and peas. The child is faced with a no-win situation and will likely protest, or delay his decision as long as possible.

Let's say the parents introduce another variable to motivate the child: "Make a choice or you won't get any dessert."

Faced with the prospect of no dessert, the child might now decide to eat one of his vegetables. The introduction of a worse outcome clears the path for decision making.

Embarrassment of Riches

Sometimes a decision has two equally good outcomes.

Let's say you've been interviewing for jobs and you get two great job offers. One has a generous pension, and the other has lucrative stock options. Which do you take? Tough choice, right?

Having an embarrassment of riches can make it just as hard to decide as when you're faced with a no-win situation. You see, your brain is wired to find quick solutions. When the solutions are basically equal, the brain doesn't know what to do, and you can get stuck.

The Ways We Get Stuck

Analysis-Paralysis

The old adage, “sleep on it” bodes well with tough decisions. A little time to let things marinate can often bring clarity.

But wait too long and your brain starts to overanalyze things. This can lead to analysis-paralysis. Essentially what happens is your brain gets overwhelmed with information. As a way to cope, it freezes. It's that primal reaction of "fight, flight, or freeze."

FOOPO

FOOPO stands for fear of other people's opinions. Humans crave approval and acceptance. It's natural. But when that craving is exaggerated, it can lead to indecision.

For example, young folks are often indecisive about which college to go to. They may be caught between pleasing their parents and pleasing their friends, with little regard for their own happiness. Other people's opinions are weighing on them, and they become indecisive.

Fear of Failure

No one likes to lose, but when failure is viewed as unacceptable or unforgivable, it creates a lot of anxiety, and anxiety fuels indecision.

Decisive people don't enjoy failure, but they're not afraid of it. They know that most decisions are not life or death, so it's easier for them to take action.

Fear of Success

Yes, it's true, people can be afraid to succeed.

What exactly is fear of success? Essentially, it’s the fear of change. If your current situation is pretty good or at least predictable, changing things, even for the better, registers as danger in your brain and decisions become more difficult.

Sound illogical? Well, your brain isn't always logical. Its job is to help you survive, not thrive.

7 Strategies for Making Decisions.

Okay, I've covered some of the common causes of indecision. Hopefully you see that it's very normal and human to be indecisive. It's not your fault... but you're not off the hook! Ready to get more decisive?

The following are some strategies to help you be more decisive. It's not an exhaustive list, but these are some things that have helped my clients, and have helped me personally.

1. What's the Worst?

The first strategy is to ask yourself the question, "what’s the worst that could happen?"

Most decisions are not life or death, so comparing worst-case scenarios can be a catalyst for moving you toward a decision.

After you identify the worst outcome, assess the likelihood of it actually occurring. Be careful here not to allow your emotions to influence your assessment.

Let's say the chance of the worst outcome happening is 5%. Another way to think about it is to flip the 5%. In other words, there's a 95% chance that you won't get your worst outcome.

Worst-case scenarios are rarely rated at 0%. Anything is possible, but not everything is probable. Getting more comfortable with probability can help you be more decisive.

2. Eat Your Vegetables

When decisions result in two equally bad outcomes, your strategy can be to simply decide to take the least-worst outcome. It's akin to eating your vegetables, even when you don't want to.

The worst thing to do is to delay your decision. This will only increase your anxiety and fuel procrastination.

A helpful strategy is to write down the pros and cons of the two tough choices, then circle the most important pros and cons. Add them up like a balance sheet and see which one wins. If you can, put this list away for a day or two, and let it marinate. When you come back and look at it, you may get some more clarity.

3. Put It On Paper

For those decisions that result in two equally great outcomes, the same strategy applies: make a list of pros and cons.

The idea here is to get all of your thoughts onto paper. Ideas stuck in your head tend to get swirled up in emotions and cloud your logic.

4. Flip the Script

Here's the antidote to FOOPO. If you're afraid of other people's opinions, flip the scenario. Ask yourself if you would judge one of your friend’s or family member’s decisions.

For example, would you hold it against your friend if they decided to switch careers to something that they loved? Probably not, right? Apply the "Golden Rule in reverse" and treat yourself as you'd treat others. For more on this, check out my blog post, The Golden Rule, Vice Versa.

5. Reframe Failure

Nelson Mandela is famous for saying, “I never lose. I either win or I learn.” If fear of failure is hampering your decision making, reframe failure as learning.

Our society places so much importance on success, or better said, on not failing. The message we get is that failing makes you a failure, which is ridiculous, but that's the message.

Go against the status quo, and try making a few small decisions, fully accepting that you might fail. Worst that could happen is you learn something, right?

6. Have a Growth Mindset

Fear of success got you stuck in indecision? Look backwards. What I mean is look back on your life from where you are today. Do you have more skills now compared to years past? How about more life experience? Learned some important lessons? If you're like most humans the answers are yes.

Now, let me ask you, would you choose to go back in time and unlearn all those life lessons? Probably not, right? My suggestion then is to reframe success as growth.

Society trains us to think of success as some grandiose thing to be "attained" in the future. But success is really a daily process. It's about staying aligned with our goals and principles. Ultimately, success is about growth.

7. Regret As Your Guide

The last strategy is to use regret as your guide. Ask yourself if you would regret your decision in a year. This can guide your decision making. If you would indeed regret your decision in the long term, maybe you shouldn't take that decision.

In Conclusion

Making decisions isn't always easy. The key to being decisive is to understand the mental and emotional mechanics of decision making. Sometimes your brain is not the best decider. Don't get stuck. Step in as the executive and take charge.

I encourage you to try the strategies that I've outlined. Try them out on a few low-stakes decisions and see how it feels. Slowly but surely start building your decision-making muscles for those inevitable, tougher decisions that are coming your way.