Parents, how much screen time do most adolescents have each day? Are you ready for this? According to
a study by Common Sense Media, The average is 6 to 9 hours a day interacting with a screen. That’s a TV screen, cell phone, computer, tablet, etc. Does that amount of time alarm you? It should.
Sherry Turkle, a psychologist at MIT, who studies the effects of social media and electronic communication, points out that excessive screen time can have negative effects on attention span and social development. She has a great TED Talk about this called Connected, but Alone.
Because the teenage years are a crucial formative time, brain development is highly influenced by the environment. Habits become ingrained. Checking phones and multitasking can get "hardwired" into the adolescent brain. Staying present and only focusing on one thing becomes boring and uncomfortable.
Parents often tell me they are frustrated by their teenager’s texting or gaming habits. Their kids are sleep deprived, and their grades are dropping. But when parents try to limit screen time, they tell me their kids angrily protest. They feel like a bad parent.
The biggest mistake parents make when limiting screen time is not explaining the rationale. By snatching away a phone or video game without a reason, the teen views the punishment as a power struggle with out any deeper meaning.
By sitting down and having a conversation and saying "I'm concerned about your screen time" the teen feels respected. Their opinion counts. They may protest when you propose limiting screen time, but that's okay. Be firm and insist. Some negotiation is okay. Remember, the goal is to reduce screen time to a sensible amount.
What’s a sensible amount? That's up to you as a parent to decide. Generally speaking, screen time should not interfere with eating, sleeping, homework, household chores, and family interactions.
Make a household rule that no devices are allowed during family meals. Other strategies include putting all devices away for the night in a common household cabinet. Restricting your teenager's screen time may actually help you reduce your own electronic device usage.
Teens, if you’re reading this, I’m on your side, really! I have talked to many teenagers who at first hate reducing screen time. They feel left out of their friends’ texts and social media posts. But after a while, they notice they have more time to do their homework, and overall they feel less stressed.
So the key is moderation. Sensible screen time, not addiction. Use the device, don’t let it use you.
Parents, you must set the example. Teens, trust that your parents care about you. For both of you: continue to have conversations. Listen to each other’s point of view. You might just see eye to eye.
For more on teenagers and screen time, check out the movie that inspired this blog post, Screenagers.
For more tips on reducing screen time, read my post Reduce Stress and Reclaim Your Time with a Digital Detox.
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