In my counseling practice, perfectionism is a common issue I see in the executives and entrepreneurs I work with. High-achieving people often have a hard time recognizing their perfectionist traits.
Perfectionism can be mistaken for high standards or a diligent work ethic. While these traits have their merits, they become problematic when applied in an overly rigid manner. They cease to be merits and instead become obstacles that limit progress and decision making.
In this article, I'll highlight the five most common perfectionism traps, and offer three simple solutions.
Many perfectionists don't see themselves as having a problem. They say things like, “I just have high standards” or, “Unless I do it myself, it won’t get done correctly.”
While these statements may feel true to the perfectionist, they lack perspective. They keep the perfectionist trapped in a standard of achievement that's overkill. Even though 80% perfect may be good enough, the perfectionist is unable to accept less than 100%. Eventually, perfectionism becomes exhausting and leads to burnout.
At its core, perfectionism is driven by fear of failure. But more importantly, it's the meaning ascribed to failure. For example, if you believe failing at a task makes you a failure as a person, then you're going to cling to the safety of perfectionism. Or if failure means others will reject you, or never forgive you for your mistake, then perfectionism makes "perfect" sense, right?
While insight into the causes of perfection is important, insight alone is not curative. What's needed is a way to practice "lowering your standards" to provide proof that perfectionism isn't necessary.
Before we get to the solutions, let's first look at how to identify perfectionism in some of its disguises.
Based on my work with high achieving people across multiple domains, I have come up with a list of five behaviors that commonly show up as perfectionism. Here they are:
1. Overplanning
Perfectionists often spend excessive time getting things “just right” before starting. The result? Momentum stalls, and progress is thwarted.
2. Procrastination
People with high standards often wait for “the perfect moment” before executing. Of course the perfect moment doesn't exist. This delay tactic is often justified as due diligence, but it’s really perfectionism in disguise. Learn more about procrastination in my post,
Stop Procrastination. Tame the Tiger and Get Momentum
3. Micromanaging
High performing people often prefer to take ownership of every detail due to their discomfort with delegation. As a result, innovation suffers and burnout sets in.
4. Fear of Sharing the "Rough Draft"
Refusing to share ideas or products publicly unless they’re fully polished. This delays feedback and forward progress.
5. Tying Self-Worth to Outcome
High achievers often believe that a less-than-stellar performance is a personal character flaw. Mistakes feel catastrophic rather than something to learn from.
These behaviors don’t mean someone isn’t talented or hardworking. In fact, the opposite is usually true. The reality is that these are compensatory behaviors in response to a false belief that anything less than perfect is unacceptable.
If any of the above perfectionism patterns resonated with you, try the following behavioral experiments. Think of these experiments as “mini reps” in the mental gym. Use them to build a more flexible and pragmatic approach to performance.
1. The 80% Rule
Pick one low-stakes task this week and submit it when it’s only 80% perfect. This could be an email or a simple report. Trust that good enough really can be good enough. After submitting it, wait and see what happens. Ask yourself afterward, “Did anything disastrous happen?”
2. Delegate Without Editing
If you're a manager, assign a task to someone on your team, give clear instructions, and let the final product go live, as-is. Use this as an opportunity to observe where your discomfort stems from. Again, you can ask yourself, "Did anything disastrous happen?"
3. Share Something Unfinished
Post an idea, concept, or behind-the-scenes update before it’s perfect. Let others respond to the raw version and notice if your assumptions were true about how “ready” it needed to be. You will likely receive feedback. Notice if you take the feedback as criticism or helpful advice.
What each of these experiments does is create low-risk test scenarios where you can observe and challenge your perfectionistic patterns. Just like in therapy or coaching, meaningful change occurs not with insight alone, but with real-world practice.
It may feel uncomfortable at first, but small shifts like these strengthen your ability to choose progress over perfection. For more on this, check out my post, The Cure for Perfectionism is Progress, Not Perfection
As perfectionism begins to loosen its grip on you, notice how you begin to feel more relaxed. But be careful here, your perfectionism may protest. It may tell its usual lie: "Don't relax; you're supposed to be perfect, all the time."
But stick with your "de-perfection" training program. High performance is not about flawless achievement; it's about moving the ball down the field and delivering a result that simply works.
If you’re an executive, entrepreneur, or business owner who’s realized perfectionism may be holding you back, I offer counseling services and coaching programs designed to help you shift from perfect to pragmatic.
1918 Bonita Ave
Berkeley, CA 94704
510-431-8090
info@ceelycounseling.com
